I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
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