i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
