I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
