how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
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He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
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We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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