Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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