Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
