I puked a lego.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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