dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
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You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
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you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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