So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize