Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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