I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
