Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize