The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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