We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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