I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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