strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Randomize
