Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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