How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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