Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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