Christians are straight up FREAKS
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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