That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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