Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
