Just mADE A PArabola og urine
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
