Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
