I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
