the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
last night I used snow as a chaser
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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