Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
