But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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