i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
