I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Ketchup is God's man juice
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
