The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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