I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
