i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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