I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
