still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
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In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
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I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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