I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
