The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
