well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whose ass print is on the piano?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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