You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Can Purell be used as lube?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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