so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
