FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
