is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
