Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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