I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
