maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I can't turn off my feet"
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
