I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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