mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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