My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Shame - the story of my life.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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