what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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