the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Randomize
