I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize
