oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
