only you would photoshop your dick
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
