I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
