But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
