I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
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